The Mythical Blowout

Good Morning all,

Let me set the stage for everyone about the events of Sunday Sept. 12, 2010. I have heard the stories about the major blowouts a baby can have in one's diaper. Now don't get me wrong, our child has had some doozies. As parents we had yet to see the nuclear explosion, 80% covered, OMG, should be in the guiness book of world records blowout. No more my friends, the blowout is real...about 5:40am this morning the conversation goes as follows...

Amy - (in a calm voice for once) "Honey I hate to wake you up, but can you come in here for a minute."

Me - (Knowing full well what is about to happen) "Sure, no problem."

I get out of bed and intoxicating fumes waver around my sleepy head. I grab the gas mask that has now been deployed from the ceiling. I enter the room to evaluate the situation. Let's just put it like this, if General Custard would have had the "toxin" that I saw covering my child, half the changing table, and hell probably the dog (no not really the dog) at Little Big Horn there would not have been a last stand. Custard would have won...easily. I mean what I saw gave new meaning to biological warfare.

Amy - "Which end do you want?"

Mark - (Hell I don't know, I mean it's EVERYWHERE!) - "I'll take the top."

Baby gets put right into the bathtub, and I get tagged with bathtime. So, I go through my normal cleaning ritual with the baby and pull her out. It's still on her. Really?? Back into the tub, clean, rinse, repeat. Yeah I pull her out and still missed a spot...well several spots. After three wash, rinse, repeats, and a oh not so happy baby, we are finally toxin free.

I personally apologize for not having a picture, because let's be honest it was worthy of one. So now the mythical blowout, which by the way is no longer mythical it is VERY real, sits triple bagged in the garbage can. I mean don't get me wrong, it made a papa proud.

As everyone makes their way to church today and prays, please add a prayer that this diaper does not make it way into the wrong hands. Evil things could be done with this diaper...the kind they make movies about. Good day y'all!